(no subject)

[liptonrm_backup]

July can be over with now, please. It's already won the distinction of being the worst month of the year, it doesn't need to do anything else to bring the old Irish melancholy out anymore then it already has.

Because I found out yesterday that I didn't pass the foreign service exam and now I'm all woe is me and assorted things. The hope was kind of keeping me going and now, I don't know. Whatever.

Wanna know what I've learned about life? There is no starting over. There is no overcoming the mistakes of the past. Don't spend your adolescence planning for the post-college world? You're screwed for life. Have one semester of college where you're so depressed and sick and the world feels like it's ending and you don't go to class so you fail? It comes back to haunt you again and again and again and there's absolutely no getting over it because everytime something bad happens it'll all come rushing back.

And then you wonder how has being a good girl your entire life helped you out at all? Because you were a missionary and it was great, possibly the best time you've ever had in your entire fucking life and then you get sick and it's over and ever since then everything you've ever done has failed. You've failed and failed and failed and it never seems to end.

So, yeah, I'm wallowing in the depths of self-pity. Go me. Life's a beach and then you drown. What's the point.

Comments

[writerj.livejournal.com]

Quarter-life crisis too, huh? A lot of that going around. Why, I'm on the tail end of a nervous breakdown myself.

I want to throw my laptop in my bag, my guitar on my back, my feet in a good pair of sneakers, and start walking wherever the wind will take me.

Unfortunately I live on an island. *curses*

[liptonrm.livejournal.com]

You mind if I join you on your Journey to Nowhere? Because leaving everything behind is starting to look more and more appealing.

[hiyacynth.livejournal.com]

Oh my sweetie! I'm so sorry about the exam, and about July and about the horrible suckitude of the world at large. You deserve so much better than is being shoveled into your bowl right now.

I have a small but joy-bearing package going out to you today that I hope will divert you at least for a little while. Sekrit Pretend Worlds and all that.

I'm going to opt out of the "you're not a failure" pep talk for the moment, as you are clearly not in the place to hear it. But believe me, I have the pep talk ready, and will administer when the weight on your shoulders is lessened enough that you can raise your head and squint at the light at the end of the tunnel. In the meantime, I am mentally hugging and rocking you and petting your hair.

Love love love,
cynthia

[liptonrm.livejournal.com]

*sniffle* You're just the greatest. I must have done something pretty incredible in a past life to deserve such a good friend.

[hiyacynth.livejournal.com]

Odds are you were just the sweet, smart, kind, loving person you are this time around. That kind of stuff comes back around, you see :-)

Wallowing in the depths

[auntiemeesh.livejournal.com]

It does seem that, when life truly sucks, at least it's only fair to be able to derive what little pleasure we can, by wallowing in self-pity. I find it a very useful therapeutic tool from time to time. It gets it all out of my system and, by blowing everything out of proportion it somehow helps me to put everything back into proportion, if that makes any sense at all.

I'm sorry you're having such a rotten month, and that your hopes for foreign service aren't working out. I hope that something good comes along soon.

*hugs*

Re: Wallowing in the depths

[liptonrm.livejournal.com]

I'm beginning to understand why Angel spent so much time brooding in dark rooms and why John Crichton would occassionally just go batshit crazy. These sorts of things are good for the soul.

Sometimes you just need to curl up in a corner and indulge.

[hjcallipygian.livejournal.com]

Just a big hug for you. I'm sorry to hear about the foreign service exam. That does suck.

[liptonrm.livejournal.com]

Thanks, buddy. For everything.

[abyssinia4077.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry!
Biggest of *HUGS* and much hope that all the good karma you must have stored up by now comes your way soon.

[liptonrm.livejournal.com]

Thanks, hon! And karma does owe me, big time.

*big, big hugs*

[elendiari22.livejournal.com]

Meh. I'm so sorry that this month sucks, and that you didn't pass the exam. Here's a big hug for you: (((((((lipton)))))))))

[liptonrm.livejournal.com]

Who would've ever thought that July would be the worst month of the year? I always assumed it would be November or February.

Thanks so much for the hugs. *hugs you right back*

[baylorsr.livejournal.com]

<3

I'm so sorry. July is so very Sucky McSuckSuck.

[liptonrm.livejournal.com]

July is forever banned from my vocabulary. If Julius Caesar could create it then I can destroy it, dagnabbit! It's obviously cursed.

[claudia603.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry about the test. I hope things start to look up and look -- there's a new month coming.

[liptonrm.livejournal.com]

You are so right. August is a new month. There is always the hope of better times.

*big hugs*