I'm Productive. Yay!
Jun. 11th, 2004 06:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
liptonrm_backupI've finished part two of chapter one of the new story I've been writing. Yay! I'm so happy. It has a title now, as well (heehee!). Critique to your heart's content;-).
Twilight - Merry
He was falling and he couldn’t remember why. There had been something there. Merry remembered wanting to breathe open, clean air, he remembered the darkness and the comfort he had found in realizing that he found the same, familiar stars sparkling over Bree. He also remembered a dark, bitter cold that had swept down his spine and a foreboding, amorphous blackness that was darker then night. It had blotted out the stars and Merry had looked at it, stared right into it and suddenly found that he was falling. It felt almost leisurely, as if he were falling backwards into the Brandywine on a hot summer’s day.
He couldn’t move and he couldn’t breathe and he knew that there were hideous things all around him in the water. He could almost see them through the grey swirling liquid. They were dark and they were hideous and he was certain that if they found him he would never be able to escape. He wished he could scream when he felt cold tentacles slither around his head and he knew they had found him and he couldn’t breathe, oh how he just wanted to breathe, please just one breath…
Merry’s eyes shot open and he took one long, shuddering, beautiful breath. For a moment he didn’t know where he was or, indeed, who he was, and that didn’t really concern him. He simply luxuriated in the fact that he could breathe and he could move and it didn’t seem that he was dead after all.
With another shuddering breath he remembered everything. For some reason that he could not explain, even to himself, he had followed that darkness, what must have been one of those Black Riders he had heard about. He remembered the danger and the fear and he shivered in spite of himself. This would happen again, Merry realized, he would spend the rest of this journey desperately running towards danger and darkness instead of away from it. He had known that, of course. He had understood the danger in Crickhollow and felt the darkness in the Old Forest and on the Barrowdowns but it had never come so close before, or been so real. Would he really be of any use at all in what was to come?
Merry shook his head briskly, dislodging both fear and doubt. He quickly stood up and took off running back to the Prancing Pony without seeing the concerned and bewildered hobbit who had been standing beside him. All that mattered now was informing Frodo of the new danger he had seen.
Twilight - Merry
He was falling and he couldn’t remember why. There had been something there. Merry remembered wanting to breathe open, clean air, he remembered the darkness and the comfort he had found in realizing that he found the same, familiar stars sparkling over Bree. He also remembered a dark, bitter cold that had swept down his spine and a foreboding, amorphous blackness that was darker then night. It had blotted out the stars and Merry had looked at it, stared right into it and suddenly found that he was falling. It felt almost leisurely, as if he were falling backwards into the Brandywine on a hot summer’s day.
He couldn’t move and he couldn’t breathe and he knew that there were hideous things all around him in the water. He could almost see them through the grey swirling liquid. They were dark and they were hideous and he was certain that if they found him he would never be able to escape. He wished he could scream when he felt cold tentacles slither around his head and he knew they had found him and he couldn’t breathe, oh how he just wanted to breathe, please just one breath…
Merry’s eyes shot open and he took one long, shuddering, beautiful breath. For a moment he didn’t know where he was or, indeed, who he was, and that didn’t really concern him. He simply luxuriated in the fact that he could breathe and he could move and it didn’t seem that he was dead after all.
With another shuddering breath he remembered everything. For some reason that he could not explain, even to himself, he had followed that darkness, what must have been one of those Black Riders he had heard about. He remembered the danger and the fear and he shivered in spite of himself. This would happen again, Merry realized, he would spend the rest of this journey desperately running towards danger and darkness instead of away from it. He had known that, of course. He had understood the danger in Crickhollow and felt the darkness in the Old Forest and on the Barrowdowns but it had never come so close before, or been so real. Would he really be of any use at all in what was to come?
Merry shook his head briskly, dislodging both fear and doubt. He quickly stood up and took off running back to the Prancing Pony without seeing the concerned and bewildered hobbit who had been standing beside him. All that mattered now was informing Frodo of the new danger he had seen.
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no subject
Date: 2004-06-11 03:56 pm (UTC)Good. Good!
He remembered the danger and the fear and he shivered in spite of himself. This would happen again, Merry realized, he would spend the rest of this journey desperately running towards danger and darkness instead of away from it.
Yay... that's Merry. Beautiful.
Very good! I'm really impressed. How many chapters will follow?
*eyes her translation list*
no subject
Date: 2004-06-12 09:30 am (UTC)The plan is to write three chapters with four parts (for each quest hobbit) per chapter. So that makes ... 10 parts to go;-).
You're eyeing your translation list?! That's the best compliment you could have possibly paid, seriously.
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Date: 2004-06-12 09:39 am (UTC)I'm eagerly looking forward to the rest!
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Date: 2004-06-12 09:45 am (UTC)*eagerly gets to work on next part*
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Date: 2004-06-11 03:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-12 09:32 am (UTC)Thank you so much for your unswavering support and unending supply of kind words. *hug*
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Date: 2004-06-11 08:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-12 09:33 am (UTC)*hug*
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Date: 2004-06-12 01:49 am (UTC)Once again, it's very nice and seems true to the character you're focusing on. :) The descriptions and comparisons are particularly good.
So... how long are you planning this fic to be? ;)
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Date: 2004-06-12 09:39 am (UTC)I'm so glad you feel that the character voice is true. The muses are particularly loud right now and it's nice to know that I'm listening to the right ones;-). Thanks so much for such constructive comments.
The fic will be three chapters, four parts (per hobbit) each. There's more hurt yet to come, poor dears.
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Date: 2004-06-12 10:12 pm (UTC)Woot! ;)
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Date: 2004-06-12 03:14 am (UTC)Awe, if only he knew.
Good work
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Date: 2004-06-12 09:40 am (UTC)I'm so glad you liked!
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Date: 2004-06-12 03:58 am (UTC)What a powerful description of the effect of the Nazgul!
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Date: 2004-06-12 09:43 am (UTC)I fear it's only going to get worse before it gets better. Poor boys.
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Date: 2004-06-12 01:45 pm (UTC)This line is so Merry: Merry shook his head briskly, dislodging both fear and doubt. He quickly stood up and took off running back to the Prancing Pony without seeing the concerned and bewildered hobbit who had been standing beside him.
It's amazing that even at the beginning he does what he needs to do and doesn't let the fear beat him. I've always thought it was nice that Aragorn noticed that about him straight away and I think you've captured it really nicely :)
no subject
Date: 2004-06-13 06:29 am (UTC)And thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed this!