(no subject)

[liptonrm_backup]

I haven't been around a lot for the past couple of days, I've been on the low end of the physical activity spectrum, so low that I haven't even been lurking. But when I came back it was to find a year's worth of wank occurring in a couple day's worth of actual time. Which, wow, that's an achievement.

And then I discovered something that went so far and beyond what we generally think of as wank that I literally felt nauseous. And I still do. And I realized that I had to say something, because there are things that are not acceptable and, yes, I hold you, fandom, to a higher standard than I hold the rest of the world. Because we're better than this, or if we're not then we should be.


This is what I'm talking about.

First off, this isn't wank. Wank is Diana Gabaldon clutching her pearls because she just discovered fanfic, wank is words on a screen. Yes, I know that wank can hurt people, sometimes seriously. People who cause wank or cheer it on can do a lot of damage and cause a lot of heartache, I've seen the awful things that can happen when wank is used to hurt people or mock people who are already hurting.

However, in my opinion, to call these events wank is to trivialize what occurred and by doing so we feed into the rape culture in which we are already steeped. Other people have talked about rape culture in eloquent, straight forward manners, so if you don't know what I'm talking about I will simply point you in their direction. *points* Lines were crossed in the above incident that should not have been crossed, all of which was worsened by the victim blaming that has occurred this week.

smilla02 has written a terrific post about fandom as a safe space that raises the very good point that we, all of us, do view fandom as a safe place, a place where we feel free to express ourselves in ways we wouldn't in other parts of our lives. I, for one, am intensely grateful for that fact. There are so many good things that I have in my life because of fandom and because of the fact that I trusted people in fandom, trusted them enough to make them a part of my life.

As such, I think we have a responsibility to each other to insure that this safe space extends into our RL encounters with one another. If that means that sometimes feelings get hurt, well, that's the price we pay. As things like the Open Source Boob Project show us, conventions in general are not safe spaces, so it makes me glad to see that the people involved in organizing wincon work so hard to make it as safe a space as it can be, for all of the fanpeople who attend. If we're going to say we're a community then we have to act like one, and act in the best interests of everyone in that community, even those who might not have the BNF voices that others possess.

Perhaps it's naive to hold fandom to this standard, to expect people who say they're in a community to act in the best interest of other community members. I know that being on someone's friends-list doesn't make that person my friend, and vice versa. But I don't think setting a standard where we act in a manner that doesn't make others feel coerced into situations where they feel uncomfortable or threatened is really that much to ask of us. It seems like the least we could do for each other. In fact, I'm surprised that there are people who don't feel the same way.

So, you know what, fandom? Do better. I'm gladdened by the other posts of outage that I've read and I hope that everyone who takes the time to read through all of the links then also spares a moment (or several) to look at her own thoughts and reactions. Change and growth can be difficult and they can hurt. I know how difficult it is to admit that I've been wrong about something, but I also know how grateful I've been to have seen that flaw in myself and worked to make it better. We owe it to ourselves, individually, if nothing else.

In conclusion, I want to take a moment to publically say how gratified I am with the way the wincon organizers handled this entire situation. They acted with class and dignity in both taking steps to protect against any future incidents the moment this was brought to their attention and by not stepping into the fray when the OP started trying to throw her virtual weight around. wincon is one of the few conventions I've ever wanted to attend, and I'm glad to say that's still the case.

I love you, fandom. Do better.

comments at http://liptonrm.dreamwidth.org/7547.html.

Comments

[dotfic.livejournal.com]

I guess...fandom is people, people are flawed. But we can hold fandom to a higher standard, personally, because within a specific community, what happens has a ripple effect on others. Fandom also by its nature has to be self-policing most of the time and fans do look after each other. The whole thing collapses otherwise, fandom's chaotic by nature, but choas doesn't mean totally without boundaries and respect for others, and fandom shouldn't be harmful or feel bad. So people do what they can to keep it safe/happy.

[oselle.livejournal.com]

I have to say that it's a testament to how much respect fans generally have for each other that something like this has never happened before.

In the first place, as you said, conventions in general are not safe spaces. Whether it's the Shriners or a bunch of geeks, there's often a sort of "What Happens in Vegas" atmosphere to any such gathering, usually fueled by lots of booze being consumed by lots of people who may not have too many other opportunities in their lives to cut loose. Suddenly they're out of town, they're with a bunch of amicable, "like-minded" strangers, and they're drunk. Bad combo.

Second of all there are people who just don't know how to separate fantasy from reality. They show up at something like this and they know everyone there either reads or writes NC-17 fic (some of which, as you know, is extremely hardcore), and they get loaded and think it would be fun to act out some fantasies. Which frankly, isn't that bad as long as everyone's okay with it, but it sounds like the alleged perpetrators of this incident just assumed that others were okay, simply because they were all at the same con. That whole "like-minded" thing.

Fandom in general is a very emotional environment and at times that emotion can be very sexual in nature. I even saw hints of this back in my LoTR days and that fandom was nowhere near as sexually charged as SPN is. It really doesn't surprise me that some people -- away for the weekend, drunk, surrounded by like-minded strangers -- decided to use the con as an excuse to act out their fantasies, and either didn't know or deliberately pretended not to know that they had crossed a line. If it's at all true, it's a really grotesque story and the people responsible for this mess deserve to banned from Wincon and any other con on the schedule, if that's possible. Nevertheless, a part of me is surprised that nothing like this has ever happened before. Surprised, and gratified, by the way the vast majority of fans do respect the "safe space" of fandom.