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Jun. 25th, 2009 11:21 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
liptonrm_backupHi! *waves* I've been lurking around lately but haven't really had all that much to say. It's also f'ing hot and my brain is slowly melting out of my ears, both of which contribute to me not being very talkative. I mean, come on, those of us who live in the Great Frozen North are adapted to the cold not the heat so when we get 95F days with 95% humidity it just about kills us. Especially those of us who don't have air conditioning.
BTW I totally went to see Star Trek again last night just to escape the heat. And it was awesome. I've also gone through my first stack of Trek novels, all of which were also awesome.
I've kind of been skirting the edges of the latest Big Fannish Discussion, just like I've skirted the edges of most of the discussions that have taken place this year. And, you know, they all have one glaring problem in common: people not acting like civilized, well-mannered human beings. If someone comments on a story/post/what have you and says "what you've written offended/hurt/upset me" it's not an attack on you personally. No, really, it's not. I know we all want to protect the things we've written and that defensiveness is the first kneejerk reaction most of us have to what we perceive as an attack, but we just have to get past it. Get rid of the defensiveness and respond in a rational, level-headed manner. If the commenter was hurt, apologize. I'm pretty sure that in 99% of these situations the commenter isn't looking for a pound of flesh but only to have their reactions acknowledged and given the consideration and compassion they're due. Because a lot of people have been hurt by a lot of things in the world and while you are not a fault for their trauma and didn't intentionally exacerbate their issues you need to accept the fact that what you wrote did cause them pain and take responsibility for it.
What it all boils down to is don't act like a dick. Yeah, you probably feel angry and hurt and defensive because it seems like someone is blaming you for something but lashing out will only exacerbate the situation. Plus, most likely the person isn't blaming you for anything at all and it isn't a personal attack. No, really, it's not.
I know that there's this presumption in some online circles that you should be able to say whatever you want on the internet and everyone else should just suck it but there's a reason why society has developed rules of ettiquete for social situations. Polite can sometimes have bad connotations, especially in fandom, but we need to be polite if we're going to function as a general online community.
I know that's asking a lot. But I think we can handle it. After all, we are all past infancy, whether we act like it or not.
So there you go, my rant/lecture for the day. It doesn't matter how the other person is acting or how you perceive the other person to be acting, you decide how you're going to respond. And as we've seen in this past year alone, whether you act like a reasonable adult or not determines whether or not wank will ensue.
Plus, these skills are also readily applicable to our non-online lives. It's amazing how effective simple social ettiquete can be.
Ahem. In other news, my patio garden is growing nicely. I went outside today and dug up some weeds and planted some new flower seeds in the area by my porch. I have wildflowers, lavender, echinacea, oregano, catnip, and one beautiful tomato plant all happily growing in pots. Well, the oregano isn't entirely happy because all of the rain last week nearly drowned the plants (apparently the pot I bought didn't have any drainage holes *rolls eyes at designer*) but they're recovering. Gardening is a hobby I picked up from the Da and I do so enjoy it. There's something so calming about working with plants and soil.
Now I think I'm going to go eat some ice cream and try to ignore the heat. Toodles!
BTW I totally went to see Star Trek again last night just to escape the heat. And it was awesome. I've also gone through my first stack of Trek novels, all of which were also awesome.
I've kind of been skirting the edges of the latest Big Fannish Discussion, just like I've skirted the edges of most of the discussions that have taken place this year. And, you know, they all have one glaring problem in common: people not acting like civilized, well-mannered human beings. If someone comments on a story/post/what have you and says "what you've written offended/hurt/upset me" it's not an attack on you personally. No, really, it's not. I know we all want to protect the things we've written and that defensiveness is the first kneejerk reaction most of us have to what we perceive as an attack, but we just have to get past it. Get rid of the defensiveness and respond in a rational, level-headed manner. If the commenter was hurt, apologize. I'm pretty sure that in 99% of these situations the commenter isn't looking for a pound of flesh but only to have their reactions acknowledged and given the consideration and compassion they're due. Because a lot of people have been hurt by a lot of things in the world and while you are not a fault for their trauma and didn't intentionally exacerbate their issues you need to accept the fact that what you wrote did cause them pain and take responsibility for it.
What it all boils down to is don't act like a dick. Yeah, you probably feel angry and hurt and defensive because it seems like someone is blaming you for something but lashing out will only exacerbate the situation. Plus, most likely the person isn't blaming you for anything at all and it isn't a personal attack. No, really, it's not.
I know that there's this presumption in some online circles that you should be able to say whatever you want on the internet and everyone else should just suck it but there's a reason why society has developed rules of ettiquete for social situations. Polite can sometimes have bad connotations, especially in fandom, but we need to be polite if we're going to function as a general online community.
I know that's asking a lot. But I think we can handle it. After all, we are all past infancy, whether we act like it or not.
So there you go, my rant/lecture for the day. It doesn't matter how the other person is acting or how you perceive the other person to be acting, you decide how you're going to respond. And as we've seen in this past year alone, whether you act like a reasonable adult or not determines whether or not wank will ensue.
Plus, these skills are also readily applicable to our non-online lives. It's amazing how effective simple social ettiquete can be.
Ahem. In other news, my patio garden is growing nicely. I went outside today and dug up some weeds and planted some new flower seeds in the area by my porch. I have wildflowers, lavender, echinacea, oregano, catnip, and one beautiful tomato plant all happily growing in pots. Well, the oregano isn't entirely happy because all of the rain last week nearly drowned the plants (apparently the pot I bought didn't have any drainage holes *rolls eyes at designer*) but they're recovering. Gardening is a hobby I picked up from the Da and I do so enjoy it. There's something so calming about working with plants and soil.
Now I think I'm going to go eat some ice cream and try to ignore the heat. Toodles!
