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Jan. 19th, 2008 09:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
liptonrm_backupDo you ever have one of those days where everything makes you have "vast" and "important" opinions? This, apparently, is one of those for me. So, please feel free to go on your merry way as I'm sure this post will be full of craziness and a complete lack of real coherency.
For some reason every family event at which the Big Lug and I are both participants has left me feeling tetchy and annoyed. I love my little brother but more and more lately he's left me with the impression that he doesn't respect me or my opinions for the simple reason that they're my opinions with an added, 'she doesn't know anything because she's a woman' subtext. At Christmas morning breakfast he went off on a conservative diatribe that only ended when all of the food was gone. Last night he disagreed with a supposition I had and his stated reason for disagreement was because I thought so. I get the distinct feeling that he would like me better if I had fewer opinions, and that pisses me off.
The simple quirk of genetics that gave him a penis does not automatically make all of his opinions special and my lack of one does not disqualify me from rational, logical thought. Yes, I'm a liberal and so we automatically disagree on most every subject he holds dear but that doesn't make me an idiot. He also seems to have the opinion that all liberals are brainwashed by the media/higher education/what have you, and so formulate no opinions of their own. I can take diagreement and difference of opinion but I cannot stand disrespect and that is what I feel everytime I spend more than an hour in his company.
It also doesn't help that I've been feeling restless lately. I feel kind of stuck in my life, trapped by my own choices. I want something that I don't even know how to define. And hearing my father say, revealing a great amount of truth in what was supposed to be a joke, that if I left I'd only have to come back and take care of him in his old age, only makes the restlessness worse.
And tomorrow I get to go talk to the bishop. Which is fine on one hand and potentially aggravating on another. I am not the kind of Mormon everyone wants me to be. Heck, I'm not the kind of Mormon I know I should be. I know I have to participate more, I know I have to serve more but that's not something that comes very easily for me. A singles' ward is all about social interaction and I am self-admittedly shy. For as much as I believe, and I do, it's the bedrock of my being, I don't always feel as if I fit. Church can be a struggle and it only gets harder. Hell, the last time I went to Relief Society I left in tears (it's a long story which has a lot more to do about me than them, but still) and I hate crying. So, yeah, of the ten million annoying things that I want to avoid, this is one of them.
On the other side of the specturm, read a SPN/BtVS crossover today that reminded me of how much the works of Joss Whedon can annoy the crap out of me. There are just things about his storytelling that put me on edge. Of course, I recognize that he is a very good storyteller and I buy his comics and enjoy them but I love Birds of Prey a whole lot more. Man, do I love the Birds of Prey. I was bummed when Gail Simone left for Wonder Woman but Sean McKeever is off to a promising start (let us never speak of the Tony Bedard era).
Ahem, once again, here I am admitting an unpopular fannish opinion. We can file this right next to my strained love for the Doctor and my lack of fondness for characters like Hermione Granger or Willow Rosenberg. And the way I have completely lost any and all interest in shows dominated by adolescents.
Am all eye-rolly concerning the people who are freaking out about Jack/Gwen after the s.2 premiere. They did watch the same first season that I watched, right? It's not really out of left field at all, you guys. I mean, yeah, I know she has female parts and is automatically not as interesting to many segments of fandom but, still, the way this seems to have surprised you is terribly amusing. But since it's pretty obvious that Torchwood will never go the OTP route so in reality there's nothing for anyone to be concerned about. Oh, fandom. *snerk*
Well, looks like today was my day to howl at the moon. I feel a lot better now. Thanks, guys.
In other news, apparently there was a convention today and Jared was adorable. Am now filled with glee.
For some reason every family event at which the Big Lug and I are both participants has left me feeling tetchy and annoyed. I love my little brother but more and more lately he's left me with the impression that he doesn't respect me or my opinions for the simple reason that they're my opinions with an added, 'she doesn't know anything because she's a woman' subtext. At Christmas morning breakfast he went off on a conservative diatribe that only ended when all of the food was gone. Last night he disagreed with a supposition I had and his stated reason for disagreement was because I thought so. I get the distinct feeling that he would like me better if I had fewer opinions, and that pisses me off.
The simple quirk of genetics that gave him a penis does not automatically make all of his opinions special and my lack of one does not disqualify me from rational, logical thought. Yes, I'm a liberal and so we automatically disagree on most every subject he holds dear but that doesn't make me an idiot. He also seems to have the opinion that all liberals are brainwashed by the media/higher education/what have you, and so formulate no opinions of their own. I can take diagreement and difference of opinion but I cannot stand disrespect and that is what I feel everytime I spend more than an hour in his company.
It also doesn't help that I've been feeling restless lately. I feel kind of stuck in my life, trapped by my own choices. I want something that I don't even know how to define. And hearing my father say, revealing a great amount of truth in what was supposed to be a joke, that if I left I'd only have to come back and take care of him in his old age, only makes the restlessness worse.
And tomorrow I get to go talk to the bishop. Which is fine on one hand and potentially aggravating on another. I am not the kind of Mormon everyone wants me to be. Heck, I'm not the kind of Mormon I know I should be. I know I have to participate more, I know I have to serve more but that's not something that comes very easily for me. A singles' ward is all about social interaction and I am self-admittedly shy. For as much as I believe, and I do, it's the bedrock of my being, I don't always feel as if I fit. Church can be a struggle and it only gets harder. Hell, the last time I went to Relief Society I left in tears (it's a long story which has a lot more to do about me than them, but still) and I hate crying. So, yeah, of the ten million annoying things that I want to avoid, this is one of them.
On the other side of the specturm, read a SPN/BtVS crossover today that reminded me of how much the works of Joss Whedon can annoy the crap out of me. There are just things about his storytelling that put me on edge. Of course, I recognize that he is a very good storyteller and I buy his comics and enjoy them but I love Birds of Prey a whole lot more. Man, do I love the Birds of Prey. I was bummed when Gail Simone left for Wonder Woman but Sean McKeever is off to a promising start (let us never speak of the Tony Bedard era).
Ahem, once again, here I am admitting an unpopular fannish opinion. We can file this right next to my strained love for the Doctor and my lack of fondness for characters like Hermione Granger or Willow Rosenberg. And the way I have completely lost any and all interest in shows dominated by adolescents.
Am all eye-rolly concerning the people who are freaking out about Jack/Gwen after the s.2 premiere. They did watch the same first season that I watched, right? It's not really out of left field at all, you guys. I mean, yeah, I know she has female parts and is automatically not as interesting to many segments of fandom but, still, the way this seems to have surprised you is terribly amusing. But since it's pretty obvious that Torchwood will never go the OTP route so in reality there's nothing for anyone to be concerned about. Oh, fandom. *snerk*
Well, looks like today was my day to howl at the moon. I feel a lot better now. Thanks, guys.
In other news, apparently there was a convention today and Jared was adorable. Am now filled with glee.
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no subject
Date: 2008-01-20 04:53 am (UTC)Good luck with your interview, and with your brother. Hopefully something good will come of the restlessness.
*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2008-01-23 03:24 am (UTC)Don't worry too much about fitting in at church. I joined one down here in NC, and although I love it more than any other church except the one I grew up in, I don't fit in either. Too much of that education getting in the way- I have a bit more tolerance for other cultures, and differ slightly in some of my opinions- but I am in the Bible belt afterall. Good people here though, very nice people.
Anyway, hope you're doing well. Stick with your plans, no matter how far off the goal may seem. Keep the faith!